Thank you so much for all the wonderful support! We made our goal and now PERFECTION is available to screen in treatment centers, recovery groups and will be online soon!

Screen Shot 2015-08-11 at 10.08.05 AM

The last thing I wanted to do is crowd fund for PERFECTION. As this project has already received so much incredible support from our tireless cast and crew to so many friends and industry supporters I honestly felt embarrassed to ask for more…


This very last push is to get PERFECTION available to stream online, to screen in treatment centers and women’s groups and that requires a bit more money. For everyone who gave so much to make this film possible I need/want to see it through to the end.


So taking on this crowd funding task felt daunting especially since I am now a team of 1 but I did have an wonderful intern Laura and another gal Breona who actually set up this new website, Thank you so much sweet, talented ladies!

They say that to have a successful crowd funding campaign you should raise at least 30% of your goal in the first week, ha,ha I thought as I have no idea how I’m going to raise this money….we launched on July 15th and in the first two hours we made 34% of our goal!

Less than two weeks away, we are now at 45% of our goal and need to make at least 80% to actually keep the money that has already been donated and I have no idea how that’s going to happen._DSC3363

This whole project has been a keep of faith, from the script I started writing over a decade ago, to shooting on the weekends while working as a PA in television during the day while always feeling in my heart that this is the right thing to do, this story needs to be out in the world and I just hope we can make it to the finish line…I’ll keep you posted.

BTW, feel free to contribute if you can. xo

People have asked me if this film is autobiographical and the truth is I have never cut myself on purpose and did not live with my mother in my thirties but the feelings and distorted perception that our protaginst KRISTABELLE has in PERFECTION is where I started with writing the script.

I grew up in the San Fernando Valley with extremely attractive parents who were hippies that loved to drink and do drugs. My father was an actor and my mother a beautiful model and designer but unfortunately their addictions prevented any real success and my father recently passed away from a very sad and lonely alcoholic death.

When I was born I had a large birthmark on my left cheek to which my mother tried to have fixed with cosmetic surgery. As a toddler I was left with a huge scar on my face and coming from such beautiful looking parents and living in Los Angeles I felt ugly early on.

In every addiction there is something under the behavior and I became addicted to self loathing and self doubt. I felt that if I could only look perfect I would be loved and not abandoned so I picked at my skin looking for PERFECTION and was left with scabs and more shame.

Living in this false belief and distortion was rough for many, many years and it has been a long road in finding that tiny part of me that I could love and not abandon. I’m happy to say that slowly my beliefs have changed and that is why I wanted to make a film about this “idea” of PERFECTION and show that there is hope and healing for anyone who suffers from this lie.

My mother just celebrated her 82nd birthday last week, of course she still looks fabulous. One of her friends that I have not seen in over 20 years, a retired make- up artist looked at me and said “what happened to the scar on your face?” At first I didn’t know what he was talking about and then realized that I no longer see myself with a scar and honestly somehow it has faded on it’s own? like I’ve grown into it or just accepted it so much that now no one can see it. He then said ” You are so beautiful, how is your love life?” Well, my answer to that is thank you, I’ve been making my first feature film over the past two years and hopefully when I’m finished I’ll have a love life again but in the meantime…

We are greatly supported by so many talented people and one of them is our wonderful Costume Designer, Tamar Michelle!

Tamar Michelle

Getting close. Our wonderful new editor, Katy Skjerping and I have been busy bees since Christmas making several cuts of Perfection. I love working with Katy, she is super smart, funny and has really been an amazing force in fine tunning our story without losing it’s heart. So lucky to have found her!

Katy, Veronica and Christina

I met Veronica Williams at Todd AO Hollywood. She makes yummy Vegan treats

and happens to know Katy from AFI….Crazy small world!

We wrapped Sunday night and it’s hard to believe that we are finally finished with principle photography. The truth is, we do have a few quick PU’s but for the most part we are done! One year later…

DPP_0350A thousand Thank You’s to all the incredible people that showed up and let us shoot in their homes, offices, businesses, sidewalks, alley’s…etc. All the last minute phones asking for something or someone and most always greeted with yes or I know someone who can and what was  most heartwarming…”I believe in you guys, just keep going”! It’s been such a wild ride and I know I keep saying this but this experience has changed me in a way that I really love. My amazing acupuncturist, Sigal Meyuhas not only allowed us to shoot in her beautiful office I got a mini treatment too!

DPP_0149I love Sigal! She has been an inspirational healing source for me for many years. If  in LA…give yourself this treat!

Sigal Meyuhas
Sigal Meyuhas

We had a great shoot Saturday night. Thank you again, Spirit Celler!



David Melville is so good in this movie! I am one lucky director.


It’s been a busy summer and haven’t had a minute to check in…We are still shooting with now only 5 more days to go! I feel like I can’t stop gushing over my cast and crew but if you were me you would too!


Shooting in Coronado, The Hotel Del is so lovely! Yes, we did get to shoot on film for our beach scenes. Lorette at KODAK donated new film stock to us and made the whole thing possible. Thanks so much Lorette!


We had an incredible week at the IFP labs in New York!

Annette Murphy, Sabine Hoffmann, Kate Williams, Christina Beck

We were so lucky to work with editing Goddesses Sabine and Kate who are super smart and helpful!

The beautiful brilliant IFP lab ladies...Rose Vincelli, Amy Dotson, Iyabo Boyd
The beautiful brilliant IFP lab ladies…                                Rose Vincelli, Amy Dotson and Iyabo Boyd

Way before we even arrived, the ladies above went out of their way to make all of us filmmakers feel 100% supported!

Fellow/sister filmmakers...Adele Romanski, Amy Seimetz, Me, Vanessa Hope and Melissa Miller
Fellow/Sister filmmakers…Adele Romanski, Amy Seimetz, Me, Vanessa Hope and Melissa Miller

It was such a beautiful treat to be surrounded by so many talented Women and Men…

Director, Josh Hyde and DP Dan Fischer
Director, Josh Hyde and DP Dan Fischer
Annette and JT O' Neal
Annette and Director, Writer JT O’ Neal
Jaguar X and me!
Director,Writer, Editor, Jaguar X and me!
Our very own, Robert Poswall on the train.
Our very own, Robert Poswall on the train.

I’m honestly still processing all of the invaluable information that was shared in what seemed like a crash course in Independent filmmaking and the business of making Independent films!

Iyabo Boyd and me
Iyabo Boyd and me

To sum it up, this was an extraordinary experience and what we mostly learned is that there are NO RULES! We can tell stories and share our vision and really only time will tell what Independent film looks like in the future. The great news is that we get to finish shooting and go back to New York for The Independent film week in September and see all these wonderful people again. I posted the links  for most of the IFP rough cut lab films on the right.  Check them out! DSCN0100 NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!! Yay! We got accepted into the IFP rough cut labs in June. I’m so glad that I didn’t talk myself out of making our sweet  asst. editor, Josh pull some long silly hours cutting together 76 mins of footage.


Annette and I are excited to go back to IFP in New York where the screenplay was nominated almost two years ago!  My fear has been that this movie will take forever to get made and now that it has, I’m really enjoying the process. More to follow… School Night shoot…                                              Thank You Spirit Celler!

Christina Beck, David Melville
Christina Beck, David Melville

We are now editing what we have shot so far…..The footage looks great and who knew it’s a comedy?

Meet our Asst. Editor...Josh Aderhold
Meet our Asst. Editor…Josh Aderhold

Our goal is to get into the IFP rough cut lab and we are hoping to start shooting again next weekend!

The deadline approches...
The deadline approches…

When all else fails…keep moving forward…

David Melville as SIMON Christina Beck as KRISTABELLE

We started shooting again last month.  It is so great to have this amazing cast and crew who are committed to seeing this film finished! We only have 31 more pages to shoot and yet there are a lot of locations to go… I have no idea what it would be like to make a film without stopping? I trust that it’s all perfect  in that, life keeps happening in between our shoots and we get to keep exploring the work through our life experience. Truth be told, shooting is my favorite part and I’m glad we still have some important, fun scenes to go. The Start We had an amazing time last fall shooting on the weekends…

PERFECTION fall 2008
PERFECTION cast & crew

There is a lot to be said about just taking ACTION.  Waiting for money, waiting for permission, waiting for WHAT? After many conversations with production companies, financiers and other filmmakers Annette and I finally said, let’s just start NO MATTER WHAT! We shot 53 pages over 4 weekends and had a blast.

7 thoughts on “Journal

  1. emilie mcdonald says:

    very awesome christina.. so excited to hear about you living out your dream of many years.. such hard, good work you are doing!!!!!

  2. annette says:

    christina, hope this finds you on the site. congratulations! you deserve all the goodness from this ifp week coming your way. you’ve worked so hard and the best is yet to come! so happy to be a part of it. oxoxo, am

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